She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
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