So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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