having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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