i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
