Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
