after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
