STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize