I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
