Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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