these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
