Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
