i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize