Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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