it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
