i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
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