I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
