I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
