I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
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