Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
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