its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
