what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
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