it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
