Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
