White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
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