uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Randomize
