He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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