ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
