I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize