Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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