Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize