I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
