Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
