smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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