The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Randomize