even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
