You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
