that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
