wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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