There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
did you just send me my own nude
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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