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• (917): View more from New York City

  He disabled his match.com account in front of me

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• (860): View more from Connecticut

  isnt it creepy that our bodies make people

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• (727): View more from Florida

  In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good

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  You Wouldn’t Guess That These 25 Celebrities Are Complete A**holes

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (618): View more from Illinois

  Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.

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• (812): View more from Indiana

  The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age

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• (701): View more from North Dakota

  Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.

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• (314): View more from Missouri

  Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.

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• (608): View more from Wisconsin

  Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.

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• 

  27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (920): View more from Wisconsin

  Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?

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• (612): View more from Minnesota

  Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.

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• (805): View more from California

  I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore

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• (908): View more from New Jersey

  I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.

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• (616): View more from Michigan

  I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.

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• (410): View more from Maryland

  I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."

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