Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
29 Of The Most Hilarious And Embarrassing Walks Of Shame Ever
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
These 23 Dudes Get Giddy From Dem Titties
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying