Texts From Last Night

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  (206): View more from Washington

  put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties

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  (206): put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties http://tfl.nu/njvs
  Replies (5) Good night (2256) Bad night (700)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.

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  (678): Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol. http://tfl.nu/nnbo
  Replies (7) Good night (1199) Bad night (2291)
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  (253): View more from Washington

  I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.

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  (253): I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw. http://tfl.nu/27va
  Replies (2) Good night (803) Bad night (3032)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom

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  (613): Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom http://tfl.nu/tl5f
  Replies (13) Good night (1008) Bad night (5168)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it

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  (973): Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it http://tfl.nu/e8zq
  Replies (6) Good night (3682) Bad night (928)
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  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress

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  (774): I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress http://tfl.nu/bwko
  Replies (6) Good night (2143) Bad night (945)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up

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  (630): I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up http://tfl.nu/11fq
  Replies (3) Good night (2394) Bad night (1138)
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  (204): View more from Manitoba

  Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god

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  (204): Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god http://tfl.nu/wk7v
  Replies (33) Good night (1512) Bad night (3506)
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  (905): View more from Ontario

  I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight

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  (905): I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight http://tfl.nu/g5pa
  Replies (2) Good night (1685) Bad night (930)
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  (229): View more from Georgia

  My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.

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  (229): My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits. http://tfl.nu/0r0j
  Replies (6) Good night (1630) Bad night (1083)
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  (309): View more from Illinois

  Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,

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  (309): Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning, http://tfl.nu/hwbb
  Replies (5) Good night (1192) Bad night (961)
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  (856): View more from New Jersey

  After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.

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  (856): After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday. http://tfl.nu/n5bk
  Replies (3) Good night (517) Bad night (787)
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  (650): View more from California

  I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?

  (831): View more from California

  I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak

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  (650): I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up? (831): I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak http://tfl.nu/xa8u
  Replies (4) Good night (1610) Bad night (520)
• Favorite

  (989): View more from Michigan

  I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"

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  (989): I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor" http://tfl.nu/29c1
  Replies (1) Good night (653) Bad night (314)
• Favorite

  (218): View more from Minnesota

  In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.

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  (218): In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first. http://tfl.nu/gyje
  Replies (1) Good night (881) Bad night (359)

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