Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
These 23 People Had Coworkers From Hell
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
21 NSFW Facts About Famous Celebrities That Will Blow Your Mind
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours