Texts From Last Night

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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true

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  (843): Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true http://tfl.nu/y8hf
  Replies (412) Good night (104732) Bad night (9820)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.

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  (214): She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats. http://tfl.nu/sl2y
  Replies (15) Good night (701) Bad night (4042)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  I wish I only lived at night.

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  (734): I wish I only lived at night. http://tfl.nu/lkra
  Replies (16) Good night (4142) Bad night (634)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.

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  (304): yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe. http://tfl.nu/4q4f
  Replies (13) Good night (5987) Bad night (887)
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  (772): View more from Florida

  I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.

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  (772): I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die. http://tfl.nu/szbq
  Replies (26) Good night (855) Bad night (3785)
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  (506): View more from New Brunswick

  He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.

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  (506): He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants. http://tfl.nu/uu5r
  Replies (16) Good night (5065) Bad night (961)
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  (352): View more from Florida

  Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.

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  (352): Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person. http://tfl.nu/l0db
  Replies (10) Good night (1158) Bad night (3632)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?

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  (207): we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet? http://tfl.nu/uydl
  Replies (9) Good night (6185) Bad night (913)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day

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  (360): Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day http://tfl.nu/ru8t
  Replies (30) Good night (1825) Bad night (4642)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.

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  (+44): If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong. http://tfl.nu/d9uh
  Replies (26) Good night (943) Bad night (6272)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.

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  (817): I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar. http://tfl.nu/kkdj
  Replies (6) Good night (783) Bad night (1027)
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  (310): View more from California

  Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.

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  (310): Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine. http://tfl.nu/yujo
  Replies (5) Good night (769) Bad night (1326)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger

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  (617): Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger http://tfl.nu/kw9o
  Replies (0) Good night (322) Bad night (382)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.

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  (817): My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt. http://tfl.nu/g54s
  Replies (3) Good night (576) Bad night (218)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws

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  (519): If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws http://tfl.nu/udrk
  Replies (1) Good night (437) Bad night (242)

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