Texts From Last Night

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  (206): View more from Washington

  She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.

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  (206): She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe. http://tfl.nu/i5qc
  Replies (8) Good night (640) Bad night (1920)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.

  (360): View more from Washington

  im coming over.

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  (503): Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call. (360): im coming over. http://tfl.nu/x6qr
  Replies (8) Good night (3667) Bad night (545)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.

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  (734): i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants. http://tfl.nu/trrn
  Replies (87) Good night (1776) Bad night (20287)
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  (631): View more from New York

  So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone

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  (631): So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone http://tfl.nu/mgb2
  Replies (40) Good night (1038) Bad night (6757)
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  (870): View more from Arkansas

  just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.

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  (870): just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here. http://tfl.nu/j596
  Replies (6) Good night (4224) Bad night (637)
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  (631): View more from New York

  even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away

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  (631): even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away http://tfl.nu/ld5s
  Replies (14) Good night (2912) Bad night (938)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal

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  (412): I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal http://tfl.nu/ode2
  Replies (66) Good night (2195) Bad night (4505)
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.

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  (479): Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs. http://tfl.nu/zkx1
  Replies (13) Good night (2920) Bad night (2212)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.

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  (630): I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager. http://tfl.nu/yzyc
  Replies (6) Good night (1440) Bad night (543)
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.

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  (416): I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now. http://tfl.nu/vurn
  Replies (5) Good night (1159) Bad night (553)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...

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  (301): The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ... http://tfl.nu/xsvz
  Replies (16) Good night (569) Bad night (2091)
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?

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  (702): Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid? http://tfl.nu/2txb
  Replies (4) Good night (372) Bad night (1102)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music

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  (405): My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music http://tfl.nu/k5xa
  Replies (3) Good night (537) Bad night (230)
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  (716): View more from New York

  Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME

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  (716): Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME http://tfl.nu/yk5a
  Replies (6) Good night (527) Bad night (203)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET

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  (203): YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET http://tfl.nu/hmex
  Replies (2) Good night (324) Bad night (246)

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