I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
