It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Randomize
