I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
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She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize