From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize