last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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