I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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