So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
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