I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
