What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Randomize
