What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
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She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
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Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
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