i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
