left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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