Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
