party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
