This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
