Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
