Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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