Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
he laminated a picture of his dick.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
