How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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