Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
