There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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