Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Randomize
