Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
