apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
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