it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
mondays should just be called national damage control day
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
