Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Me too!
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
