____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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